What Surprises Me the Most

6 Jun

It’s been 22 weeks since I received an infusion of Bendamustine and Rituxan.  It’s been about 20 weeks since I felt really sick or icky.  (Can I get an Amen!)  With maintenance of only Rituxan every eight weeks, I mostly feel tired for a few days, but that’s about it.  Nothing I can’t live with and nothing that really interferes with life.

I can’t really say that I am post-treatment since I have ten more maintenance treatments to go, but in some ways it feels like I’m finished.  I’m at least finished with the hard part.  Maintenance is a piece of cake compared to the primary six rounds of chemotherapy, so it’s not something that creates much of a problem for me.  I don’t think about it much or anticipate it like I did the infusions I received between August and January.

You know what surprises me the most about where I am at right now?  How quickly I have forgotten the bad parts of treatment.

When I was going through the “heavy” stuff, I didn’t think I would ever forget what it felt like.  The feeling of nausea that stayed with me for days and weeks at a time is not something I want to revisit anytime soon and I was certain I would remember those days forever.  But the truth is, I remember going through it, but I don’t remember it super clearly.  ( Maybe that’s due to chemo brain???  ;)  )

This reminds me of everything else we experience in life – the good, the bad and everything in between only last for a season.  Granted, some seasons last longer than others (much longer than we would like sometimes!), but nothing is permanent.  Not this world, not crises or troubles, not even the moments that are filled with joy.

Just like we read in Ecclesiastes 3:1-8:

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:

a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

When we are in the middle of a crisis or a difficult circumstance, it’s hard to remember that this season of pain won’t last forever.  It will pass, and we will experience good days and blessings again.  Those days might seem far away, but they will come.

The same could be said of the good days.  They won’t last forever, either.  The good and bad moments ebb and flow like ocean waves.  That’s why it’s important to notice those blessed moments when they happen, soak up the memories, and thank God for them.

Love to you all.
♥ Rachel

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One Response to “What Surprises Me the Most”

  1. Tranquil Moments Photography June 6, 2012 at 7:13 am #

    Amen amen. LIke the old saying goes “this too shall pass” :)

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