Groundhog Week

6 Dec

This neutropenia thing has me being super careful – washing my hands a lot (thank goodness for Gold Bond lotions!), using gallons of hand sanitizer, and avoiding anyone who might be sick.  It’s not just illnesses I have to watch for, I can get infections from food or cuts/wounds.  Pumpkin bit me the other night (for no reason, I might add – that little rascal!) and I put antibiotic ointment on it because infections through cuts and scrapes can be dangerous with low white cell counts.  Aside from being cautious, I’m still feeling very good.  I can’t really tell that I have a low white count – it doesn’t make me feel any different.

This morning I am going to see Dr. Young, the urologist, for an ultrasound.  It’s been six weeks since the stent was removed and he wants to make sure the kidney looks good and is functioning well.

Source: ThinkStockPhotos.com

Is there such a thing as Groundhog Week?  I don’t think so.  I’m pretty sure there’s only an official Groundhog Day in February, but I’m declaring this week Groundhog Week because it feels just like last week to me.  It’s a repeat, or a do-over of last week.  I’m feeling the anxiety, the apprehension, the ready-to-get-it-over-with eagerness that usually accompanies chemo week – just like I did last week.

I started last week anticipating getting my fifth chemo treatment on Wednesday and Thursday.  I did all of the usual mental prep that I do to get myself ready psychologically, emotionally, and spiritually for chemo.  I was so ready!  But my white count was not in agreement with my plans.  After getting my blood checked prior to treatment, they discovered my white count (technically, my absolute neutrophil count) was too low for me to get chemo, so we postponed it to this week.

It’s kind of like planning for a trip that doesn’t happen.  You pack a bag with a blanket and snacks and things to entertain you while on the “ride,” you think about the next few days and what needs to be covered while you are “out of pocket,” and you start off on your adventure.  You arrive at the airport and they tell you the flight has been canceled and it will be a week before you can catch another one.  Bummer.  You are little confused at first trying to figure out what you should be doing now with this “extra” time.  I was lost for a few hours as I worked to shift my brain back to the real world again.

I’ll be honest.  I was annoyed by the delay.  Not mad enough to throw a hissy fit (and I can throw some hissy fits), but annoyed all the same because the delay was not a part of MY plan.

Then I was reminded of this thought by C.S. Lewis:

And there you have it.

What I consider an interruption, an annoyance, an unwanted problem is actually just my life – the life I am blessed to live.  The life that God is gifting me with each day.  The beautiful life that gets overlooked as I focus on the interruptions and frustrations.

I wonder how much better we would handle day-to-day situations if we viewed the interruptions, the inconveniences, the unplanned events as OUR LIFE instead of as intruders into our life?

♥ Rachel

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4 Responses to “Groundhog Week”

  1. Julie Kendall December 6, 2011 at 11:43 am #

    This is such a huge truth in our lives and one of the hardest to actually put into practice. I think the reason we have such a hard time of accepting the things that frustrate,annoy, or pain us is due to the false belief that we really, down deep, don’t believe that God would allow those things in our lives if we are doing what He wants us to do. And that is what cripples our ability to handle those situations. Instead of resting in the assurance that what is happening to us is totally the plan God had all along (yes…His plans DO include pain and suffering…Jesus was very clear on that) and allowing His spirit to strengthen our faith and trust, we plunge head first into figuring out a way to change our circumstances to something that better fits our own plans. That is when things get even worse. And…yes…I know this from personal experience. It’s something we do on all levels each day. From the smallest issues to the life and death issues. I know that you have had to deal with this issue in a HUGE way for many months now. And to do so when you are also feeling horrible makes this so much more difficult. You are handling this so well. And God’s working in your life is showing! The quote from C.S. Lewis is just so darn true. So many times what we imagine that our “real” life should be is the biggest obstacle thrown into the path God has laid out for us. It’s such a subtle trap. One that we face many times each day. As a matter of fact, during the time it took me to type this comment, I’ve already had to face that trap and change my own “plans” for God’s plan concerning a future event. Now to work on my attitude about that change….. :)

    I continue to pray for God to allow you the grace to stay strong through His Spirit in all that He is asking you to face. Both you and Barry.

    Love you hon!

    • rachturner December 7, 2011 at 8:54 pm #

      That is so true, Julie, that we can be deceived by our own minds into believing that God would never allow these negative events in our lives if we are doing what He wants us to do (or what we think He wants us to do). But the truth is, we are told we will have suffering, we will have pain, we will have difficulty – especially if we are living our lives the way He wants us to. I love your perspective and insight – always so refreshing. And I love YOU sweet friend!!

  2. Jim Fugate December 7, 2011 at 9:01 pm #

    I read your communication that was closest to today–first. Now I understand why your mentioned C.S. Lewis in the other communication.

    Lewis is one of my favorite writers. I’m glad you like him too!

    Jim Fugate in West Virginia

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. A Do Over « Blessings in Disguise - December 7, 2011

    […] that little lesson we learned yesterday thanks to our friend, C.S. […]

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