Keeping it Real

12 Aug

The side effects have arrived and today has been a pretty tough day.  Nausea, vomiting, fatigue, aches, chills plus a rather large dose of emotional reality.  I don’t think I was mentally prepared for how hard this would be.  Because I felt so good before chemo started, I naively thought somewhere in the back of my mind that I would be able to breeze through this like a model patient who has minimal side effects.  I thought I could continue on with my life, making some minor modifications to my routine, and everything would be fine.  I’ve realized in the last 24 hours that will not be possible.  :)

Some of the more unusual side effects have been that I can’t feel my legs – they feel weak like jello.  I’ve read that this is normal because the chemo affects your nerve endings.  Food already tastes different and smells are much more pungent than before.  It’s a whole new world, huh?

Maybe this first treatment is such a shock to my system that the others will be a bit easier?  I hope so.  In the meantime, I’m going to learn how to maximize the times of the day when I feel well and get as much done as possible then.  I will also have to allow myself to rest each day because it does seem to help.  I’ve also go to learn which foods I can eat and which ones I should avoid.  Today’s diet has been pretty bland – toast, jello, baked potato, crackers, but it seems to be helping.  The nausea meds also help, but they make me sleepy, which is fine when I’m at home – not so great when I have to work.

I don’t like having to share the “bad” side of this, but I don’t think it’s right to only share the positive days.  I need your prayers to help me get through the next few months, especially on the bad days.  Love to you all.


8 Responses to “Keeping it Real”

  1. Patty August 12, 2011 at 10:21 pm #

    Do you have your orange gatorade? Tell Barry to go and get you a Wendy’s burger with just lettuce and cheese on it. That always worked with the headaches…. I am so sorry. Extra prayers going up for you. I wish I could be there with you. Love you!

    • rachturner August 13, 2011 at 4:21 pm #

      You are so funny! What a memory!! I am drinking orange gatorade, but the greasy burger does not sound appealing right now. :)

    • Jennifer August 14, 2011 at 9:03 pm #

      I told her the exact same thing – orange Gatorade & a greasy cheeseburger – worked for me when I was pregnant.

    • rachturner August 14, 2011 at 9:10 pm #

      Patty purchased me many bottles of orange Gatorade and Wendy’s cheeseburgers when I would get those headaches! She knows the drill. Grease, now, however does not sound appealing at all. ha ha

  2. Diana Hunsaker August 12, 2011 at 10:47 pm #

    Praying “extra hard” (as my grand-daughter says) for you tonight!

  3. Holly Sisson August 13, 2011 at 7:38 am #

    I prayed “extra hard” last night too! Get a ton of rest this weekend. Let everything else go.

  4. Jennifer Cooper August 13, 2011 at 12:57 pm #

    Rachel…I can’t begin to understand how difficult this must be. I can only imagine. But…stay strong. And just remember Philippians 4:13…I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. You are not alone in this battle…you have your friends and family here on Earth praying for you and supporting you as we can. But you also have God with you at all times.

  5. Tom & Becky Robinson August 13, 2011 at 9:23 pm #

    Sorry to hear that you are having such a tough time of it. We love you and are keeping you in our prayers. Just know the Lord has his arms around you and will carry you through the bad times. Tom and Becky

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