Nine years ago today, Barry and I were married in the sweetest ceremony in a small country inn outside of Nashville.
Nine years ago today, my world changed forever as I became a wife and a stepmom in the single instant that I said “I do.”
When you get married, you think you already know everything you need to know about the person you are marrying. You are “in love” and that’s all that matters; you’ll figure out the rest along the way, right? I don’t know everything there is to know about marriage by a long shot, but I’ve learned in nine years that being “in love” isn’t enough. I’ve also discovered that I knew very little about the man I was marrying. Oh, I was confident I knew all that mattered (he was a Christian AND an Auburn fan – that’s like a double bonus!), but truly – I didn’t know squat about him.
For example, nine years ago:
- I didn’t know that the man I was marrying would get up before me to turn the heater on the bathroom so it is nice and toasty when I got up to take a shower.
- I didn’t know that the man I was marrying would give me the only space in the garage so my car would always be comfortable when I got in it.
- I didn’t know that the man I was marrying would rather take me out to eat than have a home-cooked meal just so he can have some extra time to talk to me at end of the day.
- I didn’t know that the man I was marrying would encourage and support me through two years of completing my bachelor’s degree, even when it meant virtually every single night of the week was consumed with school work.
- I didn’t know that the man I was marrying would sincerely and diligently work hard every single day to try to make himself a better person, a better husband, and a better dad.
- I didn’t know that the man I was marrying would love me through a cancer diagnosis and treatment with a fierce, unwavering love that has touched my heart in ways difficult to describe.
- I didn’t know that the man I was marrying would become my rock, my encourager, my believer and my strength on the days when cancer seems to be too much to take.
Now don’t get me wrong, Barry’s not perfect. What?? Really?? :) Neither am I (shhh….don’t tell my parents, they’ll try to argue with you!!) ha ha!
But WE are perfect for each other.
On November 9, 2002, I was “in love” with Barry, but I didn’t love him the way I do today. What I feel now, what has grown inside my heart, is a much deeper love than would have ever been possible the day we exchanged vows. It’s a love that comes from living together every day for 3,285 days, experiencing each other at your very best and worst moments, and learning what is really inside each other’s hearts. It’s a love born of respect for the person that he is and the person that he encourages me to be. It’s a love of excited anticipation as I look forward to and wonder what the next 3,285 days will hold.
Nine years ago, I only thought I knew Barry. Little did I know, his love for me would continually surprise me in the most wonderful big and small ways every day.
This song by Martina McBride sums up how I picture his love for me at this point in our lives. The video is below the lyrics. It’s a great one with special snippets of cancer survivors throughout it. I hope you’ll take a few minutes to watch it. [Tissue alert - you might shed a tear or two.]
“I’m Gonna Love You Through It”
She dropped the phone and burst into tears
The doctor just confirmed her fears
Her husband held it in and held her tight
Cancer don’t discriminate or care if you’re just 38
With three kids who need you in their lives
He said, “I know that you’re afraid and I am, too
But you’ll never be alone, I promise you”
When you’re weak, I’ll be strong
When you let go, I’ll hold on
When you need to cry, I swear that I’ll be there to dry your eyes
When you feel lost and scared to death,
Like you can’t take one more step
Just take my hand, together we can do it
I’m gonna love you through it.
She made it through the surgery fine
They said they caught it just in time
But they had to take more than they planned
Now it’s forced smiles and baggy shirts
To hide what the cancer took from her
But she just wants to feel like a woman again
She said, “I don’t think I can do this anymore”
He took her in his arms and said “That’s what my love is for”
When you’re weak, I’ll be strong
When you let go, I’ll hold on
When you need to cry, I swear that I’ll be there to dry your eyes
When you feel lost and scared to death,
Like you can’t take one more step
Just take my hand, together we can do it
I’m gonna love you through it.
And when this road gets too long
I’ll be the rock you lean on
Just take my hand, together we can do it
I’m gonna love you through it.
I’m gonna love you through it.
–
I feel incredibly blessed to have this man walking beside me right now AND for the rest of my life. Thank you, honey, for loving me with such a strong, deep, true love and for loving me through this cancer fight.
♥ Rachel
