Overcoming Fear

We went for a bike ride yesterday.

source: thinkstockphotos.com

You wouldn’t think that’s a big deal, but it was my first ride since before treatment began last year.  I think the last time we rode was 10 months ago and we had worked our way up to 11 or 12 mile rides at that time.

I’ve been putting off getting back on the bike, worrying that I wouldn’t have the strength to get through the course.  The path we ride is about 7 miles long and about half of it is on some type of incline – some are steep inclines; some gradual.  Once you get started, you pretty much have to do the whole thing before you can get back to the car so I was nervous I wouldn’t be able to do it.

Barry has asked several times this Spring if I wanted to ride, but my mind had been telling me I couldn’t do it.  I haven’t regained all of my strength, my muscles are weak, and I didn’t think I would have the stamina to push through – so I would say no.

But my mind was wrong!  I pushed through it, I survived the ride, and I learned something else:

It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.

I couldn’t believe it.

I had let my fear hold me back.

Once I made up my mind to tackle the ride in spite of my fear, I was amazed to see that I actually managed the 7 miles better than I thought I would.  Sure, it was hard.  And sure, there were times when I didn’t want Barry to speak to me.  :)  But I did it!

How many times have you thought the same thing about a situation you were facing?

Our fears can become overwhelming when we allow them to take root in our minds.  What I learned from this one little ride is that the best antidote to fear is action.  Until I actually attempted the thing I was afraid of, my fear remained larger than my ability to overcome it.

What’s holding you back today?  Is there something you are haven’t attempted or are reluctant to try because you are afraid?  I challenge you to take one step toward overcoming that fear today.

Maybe today is the day you decide your fear is NOT greater than your strength. Maybe today is the day you decide that YOU are courageous and can accomplish great things if you will step out in faith and make an attempt.  Maybe today is the day you try.

It might not be as bad as you think it’s going to be.

March on with courage, my soul! – Judges 5:21b

Have a beautiful day and a great start to your week!
♥ Rachel

3 Questions to Ask When You are Worried

Based on emails I’ve received and conversations I’ve had recently, many of you are in the middle of a serious worry-fest – and with good reason.  Between worrying about someone you love who is seriously ill, dealing with your own health issues, concerns about a child, or anxiety over your job situation there are a lot of sleepless nights being experienced right now.  And those are just the ones I know about.

source: Pinterest

Even if you haven’t shared with me what’s worrying you, I would bet that almost everyone reading this is facing something that is creating at least a little anxiety and making you feel stressed.  Worrying not only affects us mentally and emotionally, it can wreak havoc on us physically.  All the more reason to tackle it head on before it gets out of control.

We all know that worrying accomplishes nothing but if you’re like me, you find it difficult to beat back the worry monster.  Here are three questions you can ask yourself when worrying threatens to take control of your thoughts:

1. Have I prayed about this?  Prayer is my number one recommendation for combatting work and anxiety.  Why?  Because it works.  :)  I’ve found no greater way to combat a major case of the worries than to spend some quality time in prayer.  The act of quieting myself and praying to a God who I know hears my prayers has a calming power on me.  As James says, “the prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.” (James 5:16)
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2. What scripture has God given me regarding this?  Select a few key verses that bring you comfort or calm your nerves and put them to memory.  Write them on index cards and carry them with you.  When your mind begins to drift toward worrying about the situation, say the verses out loud or think them.  If your attention is focused on scripture, it can’t be focused on the problem.  See the list of scripture at the bottom of this post for some of my favorites.
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3. What is the worst thing that could happen?  This is advice from my dad that has always served me well.  Think about the worst possible outcome.  Once you recognize it and acknowledge it, you have the power to cope with it.  It’s easy to worry about the unknown, but if you think about the worst possible outcome you will be better equipped to cope with it.

We cannot eliminate situations that will create anxiety and stress in our lives, but we can learn how to cope with them so that the worry and anxiety does to consume us.

Here’s the scripture I mentioned above that I have committed to memory:

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous hand. – Isaiah 41:10

Nothing is impossible with God. – Luke 1:37

The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in Him. - Nahum 1:7

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. – Matthew 6:34

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? – Luke 12:25

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. – John 14:27

Hope your week gets off to a great start!
♥ Rachel

Avoiding Fear

I’m reading the devotional “Jesus Calling” by Sarah Young.  I am really enjoying it – much more than I thought I would.  Sarah wrote this devotional book from journal entries she recorded during her time spent reading the Bible and praying while she and her husband were missionaries in Australia.

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What she shares in this book are the ways she felt God speaking to her heart and the things she felt He was telling her in response to her prayers.  It’s a very personal devotional written in a unique way.  Each day’s devotion is supported with scripture references that encourage you to dig a little deeper into the truth of God’s Word.

Some days, my reaction is average.  Other days, my response is almost a gasp as I read something that is directed so specifically at what I am feeling or experiencing that day.  Yesterday’s devotion was one that made my breath catch in my throat.  It said:

I am always with you, so you have no reason to be afraid.  Your fear often manifests itself in excessive planning.  Your mind is so accustomed to this pattern of thinking that you are only now becoming aware of how pervasive it is and how much it hinders your intimacy with Me.

“Your fear manifests itself in excessive planning.”  Is there anyone else reading this who can relate to that statement???  That one sentence literally stopped me right there.  I paused and read it again, and then read it again.  Yes.  It is speaking directly to me because that’s one of the ways I process fear.

If I plan my day well enough, there is no need to fear what will happen.  If I research my cancer and treatment options well enough, I don’t need God because I’ve already got it figured out, right??  If I prepare thoroughly enough for a meeting or event, there is no need to be afraid of what will happen because why?  Because I have it all under control.  Right?  Wrong.  Control is an illusion that only lasts for a short while before we come face-to-face with the reality that we are not truly in control.

Excessive or compulsive planning in response to fear is nothing but a substitute for faith and trust.  Many times, we busy ourselves with tasks and lists that keep us from being still and knowing that He IS God.  Stillness and silence allow for fear to creep back into our hearts.  But if we allow God to fill our hearts with peace, there will be no room left for fear.

Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth. – Psalm 46:10

I hope that – no matter what you are facing today – you sense an the overwhelming peace of God’s presence in your life.
♥ Rachel

When Fear Won’t Losen It’s Grip

Have you ever been so afraid that you had to remind yourself to breathe?  I am certain most of us, at least once in our lives, have felt this kind of fear.  It’s a consuming, distracting fear that causes us to lose sleep at night, develop stomach ulcers, and do absent-minded things like put the milk away in the pantry or take a shower and forget to wash our hair ( not that I’ve ever done those things! :) )

Living with this kind of fear for very long is not good for us emotionally, physically, or spiritually.  Fear results in stress and worry.  Stress and worry can lead to a variety of physical and emotional health problems.  The more fear we allow in our lives, the less room there is for faith and trust that God will provide for and protect us and those we love.

We know these things, so the question is: how do we get rid of this fear once it takes hold of us?

I think we have two choices.  We can let it dominate our thoughts and maintain it’s grip on our lives or we can choose to do things that diminish its power.  In my experience, I’ve encountered two kinds of fear:

• fear about something I can change, and
• fear about something I can’t change.

Sometimes our fears are about things that we have some degree of control over such as a fear of heights, a fear of failure, or a fear of being alone.  There are other circumstances that we have little, if any, control – the fear that comes with a cancer diagnosis, the fear we feel when a loved when is gravely ill, or the fear of knowing someone we love is in danger.

For both types of fear, the best solution I have found begins with surrounding the fear with prayer and scripture.  It starts with admitting my fears to God and asking Him to help me overcome them.  The next step is being prepared with a few key verses that I can repeat to myself whenever the fear starts to grow into something much too large.  For me, these verses are:

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-disciple. – 2 timothy 1:7

Trust in God; trust also in me. – John 14:1

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am  your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. – Isaiah 41:10

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. – John 14:27

Both types of fear also involve action.  In order to overcome fear about something I can change, I must be willing to attempt to do whatever it is that scares me, otherwise the fear will stay with me indefinitely.  In order to not be consumed by fear about something I can’t change, I must be willing to surrender my fear (worry) to God and trust that He is in control (because He is whether I am willing to admit it or not).

Easier said than done, right?  :)

There is much in the world to make us afraid.
There is much more in our faith to make us unafraid.
Frederick W. Cropp

How do you handle fear?

Have a great day!
♥ Rachel

Our Little Pumpkin and His Big Fear

You guys know our little Pumpkin.  He’s our cat.  All 14 pounds of him.  I guess referring to him as “little” is a bit of an oxymoron, huh?  :)

He’s looking a little nervous here. He’s been living in our bedroom for 4 days.  Why, you ask?  Because of the ceiling fans in the other rooms.

It seems he has a ceiling fan phobia.  What’s really interesting is that we’ve had ceiling fans his whole life (he’s 9 years old).  He used to sit under the fans with his little whispy hair blowing in the breeze and not be phased a bit by them.

During the winter, we reversed the fans and turned them on.  This is when his fear seemed to surface for the first time.  We couldn’t figure it out at first, we just noticed that he was staying up in the bonus room a lot.  I carried him downstairs a few times and he would quickly jump out of my arms and do the low-belly-crawl back to the bonus room.

We finally realized that he was looking at the ceiling fans, so we turned them off and he was fine.  We thought maybe they made a high-pitched noise when in reverse that bothered his ears, so we just left them off for the winter.

We just turned them on again (in the normal direction) now that the weather is warmer and WHOOSH!  There he goes low-bellying it across the floor to the bedroom and under the bed where he stayed for the better part of 4 days.  Fortunately, his food, water, and liter box is in the master bath so he had access to them without having to leave the room.

We picked him up several times and gently carried him within sight of the ceiling fan, but the minute we relaxed our grip on him, he jumped down (leaving claw marks on my arm) and slid back into the bedroom.  He would sit at the door of the bedroom like he wanted to come out, but couldn’t.  It was pitiful!

I even tried using yesterday’s Bible verses on him, by reminding him that God did not give him a spirit of fear and that He commanded him to be a strong and courageous kitty.  I’m not sure he really grasped what I was trying to say based on the blank stare he gave me.

We had been turning off the ceiling fans hoping he would at least come out into some other rooms and only had the one in the den running.  So, yesterday, we turned the last running ceiling fan off and brought him out.  He stayed for a minute and went back the bedroom!  But then a little while later, he slowly made his way back out to the rest of the house and has stayed out with us.  So I guess we won’t be running our ceiling fans anymore.

So what’s the moral of this story?  It’s really Pumpkin’s house and he just lets us live here.

So here’s my question for you – has anyone else encountered this with your cat (or dog for that matter)?  How did you (or did you?) manage to get the cat and the ceiling fan to live in peaceful harmony?

Have a wonderful Wednesday!
♥ Rachel

Be Strong and Courageous

Today’s post is going to be simple.  I’m going to let the scripture do most of the talking because it does a much better job than I do.  Especially when my heart is anxious.

Source: Pinterest

I have a sweet friend who needs to be encouraged today.  She’s having some tests this afternoon and she’s anxious.  I’m anxious with her.  I want her to have these verses on her heart this afternoon so that the fear doesn’t take over.  I want God to fill every part of her soul today so that there is not even an inch of space for anxiety.

I have a feeling there might be some others reading today who could use these reminders, too.  :)

“Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”  Joshua 1:9

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 4:6-7

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”  Isaiah 41:10

I am reminded that God does not give us anxiety.

He does not give us fear.

He does not give us worry.

He does not give us troubled minds.

In fact, he gives us the exact opposite.  He gives us peace.  He gives us hope.  He gives us power.

“For God gave us a spirit NOT of fear, but of power and love and self-control.”  2 Timothy 1:7

And lastly,

“Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”  Hebrews 4:16

Have a blessed Tuesday.
Rachel

40 Lessons I Learned in 2011

Yesterday was a 6 or a 7, so I’m definitely making positive progress.  The nausea is less and I made it to 3:00 before hitting the wall of fatigue.  Yay!!  Today, I’m hoping for something in the 7-8 range.  That would make a pretty good day!

2011 was chock full of life lessons, most of which I did not want to learn the way I had to learn them.  :)  I’ve seen several people (some cancer patients, some not) write recently about what they learned in 2011 and thought it would be a good exercise for me to do the same.  Maybe this list will entertain you.  Maybe it will make you stop and reflect, like it did me.  Maybe you’ll see just how warped I really am.  :)  Maybe you will learn from my experience and not wait until tragedy or illness strikes before you start to appreciate the good things around you.

Lessons from 2011

Source: ThinkStockPhotos.com

1. I learned that for 42 years I gave very little thought to my health, naively assuming I would always have it.  It’s the old adage, you don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone.  I should probably cut myself some slack for the first 5-10 years because who really thinks about their health when they’re a kid??
2. I learned that contrary to my previously held beliefs, riding a bike for 12 miles on hilly terrain would, in fact, NOT kill me, even though it felt like it at the time.
3. I learned family is a precious gift and time with them should be cherished.
4. I learned hearts that feel like they are completely broken in two actually will continue to beat minute after minute.
5. I learned time can both fly and crawl at the exact same time.  2011 flew by, but at the very same time it felt like life was going in slow motion.  Strange.
6. I learned that patience is a virtue of which I have limited resources, but of which I was required to produce large amounts of it at times.
7. I learned there is truth to the cliche that being diagnosed with cancer (or another serious illness) changes your perspective.
8. I learned, as Martina McBride sings in I’ll Love You Through It, “cancer don’t discriminate.”
9. I learned that aggressive forms of lymphoma are usually curable while slow-growing forms are typically not.  Go figure.
10. I learned chemotherapy side-effects are both better and worse than I imagined they would be.
11. I learned in the midst of the hardest year of my life, that God sent countless blessings to me in the form of people who have prayed, encouraged, and supported me, Barry and the rest of our family.
12. I learned the bond between sisters only gets stronger when grief, fear, and uncertainty are involved.
13. I learned that even on my very worst day, there are MANY people suffering physical ailments worse than mine, including, my sister’s sweet neighbor, Ginny.
14. I learned when you are diagnosed with cancer, you immediately become a medical student and learn more than you ever thought possible about the disease.
15. I learned that oncologists are very special doctors and that I am blessed to have one of the best.
16. I learned that life-long friends are perfectly planned GIFTS from God and new friends are sweet blessings.
17. I learned the kindness of family and friends can put a smile on your face even on the hardest days.
18. I learned that Pinterest is addictive, and fun, and full of ideas, and can actually make time disappear because what feels like 30 minutes turns out to be two hours spent “pinning” things.  ha ha!
19. I learned that a sense of humor is absolutely essential when coping with cancer.
20. I learned that the phrase, “I have cancer, people!” is a great excuse for not doing things and makes my co-workers laugh.  ha ha!!  Love you guys!
21. I learned that you truly have no idea how much your husband loves you until you have to face something like cancer together.
22. I learned that finding out your youngest daughter has cancer and then losing your beloved son-in-law five days later grieved my parents in ways I’ve never seen before, but God held them up and is still holding them close.
23. I learned that my heart could hurt so much for my sister, nephews, and nieces when they lost their husband and father that it felt like actual, physical pain.
24. I learned that I miss riding bikes and am looking forward to getting back out there again with my husband (did I just say that????) so that he can torture push me to excel some more.  :)
25. I learned the cancer patients I’ve encountered are not sick, bitter, tired, hopeless people, but are, instead, true sources of light, encouragement, and inspiration.
26. I learned there are words such as cancer, partial remission, incurable, chemotherapy, lymphoma that should be eradicated from our lives.  We have to keep fighting and funding research.
27. I learned that you can be sick inside and not even know it, so pay attention to the small things because they may end up being big things.
28. I learned that port-a-caths are a very good thing.
29. I learned that oncology nurses are some of the sweetest, most wonderful nurses in the world.
30. I learned that tears and smiles can reside in the same heart at the same time.
31. I learned that grief and fear are interesting bedfellows; they don’t much like each other and tend to fight for your attention.
32. I learned that physical activity is a gift, not a punishment or a necessity or something “I have to do but really don’t want to do.”  It’s a gift.
33. I learned that what seemed at first to be Pumpkin loving me and laying beside me when I didn’t feel good was really his attempt at stealing the soft fuzzy blanket from me.  “I have cancer” means nothing to him.  :)
34. I learned that life goes on and the world doesn’t stop just because I have cancer.
35. I learned that time doesn’t make itself – you have to set aside time for the things/people who are important to you.
36. I learned that I have a choice to be bitter or better because of my diagnosis.  Bitter helps no one; better helps me AND others.
37. I learned that life is awful and beautiful and challenging and painful and wonderful and sad and a precious gift.
38. I learned that happiness is not a destination or some goal I’m trying to achieve, it’s a daily action.
39. I learned that God is good – not just when times are good – but all the time.
40. I learned that I am stronger than I thought I was.

♥ Rachel