On Birthdays and Aging

First, thanks for your feedback and encouragement on my decision to reduce my number of posts each week. It’s felt good to have a little breathing room in my schedule. :)

I want to wish one of my most faithful readers – my mom – a VERY happy birthday today! Love you so much and am blessed to be your daughter!

Speaking of birthdays, I turned 44 on Tuesday. Does that seem really old to anyone else? I feel like I should be so much smarter, wiser or more mature than I actually am if I’m going to be 44. Grown ups are 44 and I don’t feel grown up. {grin}

Birthdays are different now (in a good way). Those of you with cancer know what I’m talking about. Milestones are no longer saved for turning 40, 50, etc. Each birthday is a milestone, a reason to celebrate. A gift. This is true always, but we become more aware of it after a cancer diagnosis (or some other serious health scare). Sad, but true.

It’s no longer about how many gifts I receive or what my family does for me to celebrate the occasion (although those things are wonderful and I don’t want want to give them up!). It’s not about me being the center of attention (although I am very comfortable being in that position – {grin}). It’s about breathing in the day and acknowledging what an accomplishment the previous year has been. It’s about making it through a year of maintenance treatments without a relapse or major issue. It’s about growing more into the person God created me to be. It’s about learning to thrive in the midst of challenges. It’s about living.

This past year has been calm in comparison to the previous one. I’m on cruise control right now, and that’s where I hope to stay for a looooonng time. But it’s still been a challenge. The emotional side of dealing with cancer has been harder this year than my first. In year one, I was busy “doing” cancer – going to appointments, getting tests and scans, receiving treatment, taking it one day at a time. Now, the reality of having a chronic cancer, while not immediately life threatening, can be tough to wrap my head around at times. I don’t want it. I want to stamp “return to sender” on this cancer and put it in the mail. Too bad that’s not an option,  huh?

In spite of being stuck with a package I didn’t want to receive, life is good. I have people to love and I am reminded often of how much I am loved. God gives me reasons to smile each day. Can I really ask for more than that? Nah.

Speaking of cancer, tomorrow is my 7th maintenance treatment! Only five to go after this one. Oh, yeah!!

So, what’s your perspective on birthdays? Love them? Hate them?

Blessings!
♥Rachel